Porthleven Rangers 5 v Hayle 0

This week Rangers entertained a youthful looking Hayle side. Mind you next to some of the more senior Rangers players Tony Adams would look like a mere youngster.

Rangers started this game of with a real bang and after six touches of the ball the Hayle keeper found himself picking it out of his net. Rangers leading goal scorer TT Hichens was left adding one more to his total, soon he will need to take both shoes and socks off to keep count.

Rangers great start to this game continued and after a fine move down the right a great ball into the box saw Si Hubbard volley home into the old empty cupboard. This was without doubt the best move of the game and was no more than the Rangers dominance deserved. Hubbard was not done yet however and after another ten minutes with some vocal encouragement he clipped a ball over the top of a stranded keeper from 25 yards to put Rangers 3 up and in full control.

The Rangers back line of Willets,Wortley, Williams and Wortley (WWWW.COM)throughout the half gave the Hayle front-line a torrid time and Young Keeper the Third Wortley had very little work to do. At one point the young man was seen swinging around his post like a monkey after one of Hayles more accurate efforts sailed wide of its mark.

The second half saw Rangers shuffle the pack again and added some more youth into the back line with player manager The Spaniard L Powell introduced. Ryan Hammy Willets moved up into mid field and added some more weight to the centre of the park. All this was brought about after losing Ricky Williams with a pulled muscle. Well, what do you expect when you playing socks that tight something was bound to give.

Hayle now with the wind at their backs pushed on looking for a goal to get them back into the game. They gave all they had but when it came to the final third their young heads just seemed to get the better of them. If only they had followed in a couple of long range efforts they would have had two or three good chance to score. The Rangers Keeper young Bubbles Wortley was seen to spill the ball on several occasions it was like he was trying to catch Bananas.

When Rangers frontman Cash Customer Bartlett drove a strike across the keeper for his first twenty minutes in, it was all over as a contest. It was no more than his play deserved and most have been nice for the him to have a drive, while he still can.
Hayle continued to give all they could and on one occasion they did manage to get in behind the Rangers defence but Bubbles was quick of his line and bravely dived in at the strikers feet to pull of a great stop. This was to be Hayles last real effort and when Bartlett turned his man and fired into the roof of the net with just ten left on the clock there was no way back for Hayle.

This contest was a case of Boys against Men and the Hayle youngsters for all their efforts were never really in it. Rangers older heads had never really been troubled and when the final whistle blew it was a comfortable three points with the score line reading 5-0.

Next week Rangers travel to Stithians and will need to continue to take all the points to pull themselves back up the table.

Match Report By Cozy Powell

Lanner 2 - Porthleven Rangers 1

This week Rangers travelled to Lanner in search of a much needed win. The home side however had other ideas and Rangers were to come away empty handed.

Rangers saw the return of Ricky my leg my leg Williams into the side after a braking his leg before christmas and the Ginger Winger Ryan I missed my left to Plymouth Hughes getting his first start this season. Rangers again started brightly but did not make the most of their early opportunities and the Lanner keeper was never really tested. As the half went on it was Lanner who began to take control and Rangers Keeper the Third Wortley Bart was being called into action all to often. After conceding a needless corner Rangers were punished when they failed to clear the ball from out of the mud puddle in front of their goal and a Lanner player was first to react and fire home.

With time going by it was Lanner who were moving the ball around all to well and it was no surprise when they scored their second. It was however a surprise to the young Rangers Keeper, who wished he was a few inches taller like the Rangers Linesman when the ball arced over him and into the net from outside the box. To be fair he had by now kept Rangers in a game in which they were second best.

At the half Rangers made one or two tweaks to the shape. Cold legs Williams was asked to do a man on man job with the Lanner play maker Goldie and Mid field pair of Tom my daddy has come to see me Layzell and the Old Mother Hubbard switched roles.
Rangers with a new shape took the game to Lanner in the second half and the changes worked well. Cold legs followed his man where ever he went and this and the other changes helped to stop the Lanner flow.

Rangers were now applying the pressure and when Ricky my leg my leg Williams drove in a superb free kick it was Veteran Andy pensioner Wortley who climbed highest but saw his thunderous header pass by the far post. Then Daddies boy Layzell was up ended in the box for what looked like a stick on penalty but the ref waved play on. He did however then allow the magic sponge onto the pitch to treat the injured Layzell who's shin was still throbbing from the errant defenders kick. The pressure did finally pay off when after some good flowing football a corner was headed home by an unmarked Layzell. This was no more than Rangers deserved and brought them right back into the game.

Lanner did create one or two chances but Keeper Wortley was still on fine form and pulled of two more great saves in the second half. This even brought praise from the lanner bench and management something we need to address in the english game. How can we keep these young players feet on the ground with this kind of encouragement its a disgrace. His poor old old old man Andy will have to suffer all week now with his inflated ego.

With time ticking by Rangers made there final change and the Ginger One was withdrawn, after having done a good job in the second half of shutting out his man. His best game for Rangers in some time and all on top of a late night out and steak for breakfast.

As the game drew to a close it was all Rangers, throwing everything at the Lanner defence looking for the equaliser. This time however it was not to be and when the whistle blew it was Lanner who took all the points.

The final words must go to both sides for what was a great advert for league three football, the referee who did a great job and admitted had thoroughly enjoyed the game. Finally to young Bart Wortley who was superb between the sticks and was by far the man of the match. Well played mate.

Next week Rangers entertain Hayle and most get back to winning ways to halt their slide towards mid table mediocrity.

Match Report By Cozy Powell

Mullion 1 v Porthleven Rangers 0

This week Rangers travelled to local rivals Mullion for an eagerly awaited Derby Game. This match was always going to be a close encounter with both sides looking for the vital 3 points. Rangers travelling support was a little light this week when the Nauti One was layed up at home with a bad back and his england rugby shirt at the ready, egg chasing on a saturday disgrace.

The game didn't start well for Rangers when before a ball was even kicked centre half Brum Willets declared himself out after tweaking a groin whilst getting dressed. This led to a reshuffle of the side and saw the veteran player manager L Powell the spaniard getting a rare start.

With a strong sea breeze blowing end to end and the sun casting long shadows over the Mullion field Rangers opted to play with the wind in the first half. After watching Mullion knocking the ball around and playing some lovely little triangles for the first few minutes Rangers finally awoke and started about the task. When Neal U O A Dozen English Bartlett went through on goal it looked like the break through but he lifted the ball over the advancing Keeper and wide of the mark. Then after a lovely move which included a touch of the continental or back heel saw a great strike from TT Hichens into the top corner but the keeper at full stretch pulled of a fine save.

As the half wore on Rangers for all there efforts could not find that all important break through. With the Mullions Linesman's arm getting a good work out the Rangers front line just couldn't seem to beat the trap. Then just when it looked as if the half would finish goalless a break down the Rangers left a ball into the box, to what looked like three players stood offside saw a great last ditched effort at the back stick by Bouncer Dan Thomas to score his first for the Club unfortunately that club was Mullion. The referee was its fair to say not quite up with play and the Rangers defence were somewhat bewildered as to why the flag had not gone up but hay when you look at the score sheet it still reads Thomas OG.

With just a few minutes left on the clock Rangers tried desperately to get back on level terms but it was not to be. Mullion however still had one more crack at goal, when their front man was slid in it looked like he would make it 2 but Rangers Keeper Bart the younger Wortley pulled of a fine save touching the ball onto the post before retrieving it.

The second half saw Rangers playing into an ever stiffening sea breeze and it looked like it could be a tough one to pull out of the fire. With the wind at their backs Mullion did start to push hard but the Rangers defence refused to crack. The older heads of Rangers did have one or two things to say for themselves and on a couple of occasions the ref interceded and with some strong words of his own. Never been to sure on the foul and abuse language rules but you just cant give yourself a card these days.

Mullion were now dominating the field position but to be honest for all their possession and bluster never really looked like they could break down a stubborn Rangers defence. With Rangers being forced to play on the break chances were few and far between but the Mullion keeper was called into action on a couple of occasions and was always quick of his line when he needed to be, twice taking the ball at the feet of the Rangers forwards.

The game was by now not the best by a long way and both sides were guilty of giving the ball away all to often. Then one of the games darkest moments took place when Dan OG Thomas was booked by the Referee after a very ugly Totting followed by a very nasty shake of his head, after he was stalked by the referee like a great white hunter on the sent of his prey. All this brought about after a delayed dive sent the young Thomas to the floor after being caught on the ankle by a mullion player just 5 or 6 seconds earlier. The Ref had no option but to show him who was boss sorry I mean a card. That kind of Totting and Head Shaking has no place on the field and should be saved until after the water shed at least. A complete disgrace and I'm sure the club will be looking to take action of there own, perhaps a neck brace or collar for the young man.

With time now nearly out Rangers changed their shape for one last effort and shifted young Jonny Ice out right brought the Old Mother Hubbard into the middle and pushed leading scorer TT Hichens back up top. This change did seem to give Rangers a little more time with the ball and when Young Ice was brought down outside the box with a late and high challenge. Which brought the Refs cards out again. This time being used for what they were designed. With the wall almost the full six yards back and encroaching by the second Twelve pounds Bartlett took on the shot cleared the bar and Mullion survived again.

When the final whistle went Mullion had the points and I should think they were more than pleased with themselves for it. Rangers can look back on missed opportunities in the first half . The Ref can go back to playing 6 aside and can look back on what was probably not his finest game.

Next Saturday Rangers entertain Mullion in the reverse fixture (How does the this fixturing work I'll never know) at Porthlevens Gala Park. This may not be a game for the faint hearted with both sides still with all to play for and with dented prides to mend.

Match Report by Cozy Powell