Lizard 1 v Porthleven Rangers 8

This week Rangers travelled out east to the Lizard in search of a much needed win and this time came away with the all the points.
This game started with a bang when within a couple of minutes Rangers goal machine TT Hichens broke free avoiding the offside trap for once and slotted passed the keeper with ease. Lizard with the wind at their backs for the next fifteen minutes had a period of pressure but never really threatened. On several occasions Rangers broke forward but seemly couldn't break the off side trap. Then from one of these breaks Hichens again broke free but on this occasion the keeper won out but Two scoops Leach was on hand to slot home the loose ball. Again Lizard pushed forward and again Rangers broke this time it was the turn of Tax dodger Mark Pollard to beat the Keeper and just to prove it was no fluke he did the same thing five minutes later for his second and Rangers fourth.
The only down side for Rangers in the first half was the loss of young to Tall Eastwood who had to be substituted after coming down with a very nasty belly ache. He was a good boy though and didn't cry about it to much.


The Second half saw Rangers with the wind and made one more change at half time with two scoops being removed and stalwart pensioner wortley being introduced. It was Lizard who started the half the quickest but again they failed to trouble the Rangers defence or Keeper Tiddles Pawley. Then after five minutes it was Hichens again who broke free seemingly now having to start his runs from in his own half and again slotted by the keeper for his second.
With Rangers now five up and looking like they could score for fun it was only ever going to be a one sided affair from here in. Dave let me play up front Brand, now playing up front was determined to get on the score sheet but it just wouldn't happen for him. Several times the front man found his way blocked to goal by defenders, keepers and his own two feet how he didn't score we will never know.
Then came several worrying moments for Rangers when Pensioner Wortley went down quickly followed by Mark tax dodger Pollard and then Keeper Pawley. With only the one eyed player manager Powell left to come on it was the old man Wortley who had to go and the old cyclops dropped in at the back.

With twenty minutes left to play it was now the turn of the wide players to get involved in the goal action. First Tom layzell pulled the trigger after turning several players in the box several times and firing home. This was soon followed by Young Josephine Bray who with locks flowing beat the keeper with a smart shin which I'm sure took a deflection of his Alice band on the way in. As if this was not enough a quick change in positions saw Dan oops I'm out of Petrol Thomas move out wide and with his first touch in his new roll he fired home for his virginal goal in junior football. How pleasing for the young man in just two seasons what a strike rate.
Now with Rangers eight up it was all over but Lizard had one last go at it and finally found away passed the Rangers defence and keeper Tiddles Pawley. This also led to the Rangers keeper having to be switched after hurting his shoulder again and Powell taking up the gloves, keeping a superb clean sheet in the process for his two minutes in nets.
Rangers ran out this game 8 - 1 and should have had more. In all honesty this was a one sided affair and Lizard must now go and lick their wounds and regroup for their next game.

Rangers will look to their next game on Wednesday at home to Falmouth Albion and will need to put their feet back firmly on the ground for that one.

Porthleven Rangers 2 v Camborne Park 2

This week Rangers entertained Camborne Park in another close encounter. This was always going to be a close run affair with both sides lying in mid table and Camborne with one eye still on a promotion slot.
Rangers welcomed back two players this week Dave Banned Brand after the FA had asked him to take a mid season break and Gavin dodgy Hair Perriton who returned from Helston again and dropped in at left back.

This as it turned out was a much sought after position and several players seemed oh so keen to recommend the young man for this key roll. With the team selected and positions allotted Rangers started the game slowly going into a strong breeze. The first half hour was a case of both sides cancelling each other out and neither side could get on top.
Thirty minutes in Camborne made the first break through after a ball broke out wide and the Left midfielder took on the first time shot which flew across the face of the goal and then curled in on the wind beating Tiddles Pawley at his far post. This sparked Camborne and they pushed on hard for the next few minutes and were unlucky not to go two up when the found away through the middle of the Rangers defence and again beat Tiddles. This time however the Flag came to the rescue after the Camborne forward had been to keen to get forward and had run offside.
With the half fast drawing to a close a magic moment from the dodgy hair one Perriton saw him miss hit a long range effort over the top of the Camborne keeper and into the top corner for the equaliser. This gives him two goals in two games not a bad strike rate.


The second half was more of the same and but now with the wind at theirs backs Rangers started to force the game a little more. Rangers were now seeing more of the possession and Camborne were forced to start any moves from deep in their own half. It was however a Rangers error which presented them with their second goal after The Hair lost the ball and the Camborne wide man drove into the box before squaring the ball to an open striker who slotted into an empty net. The flag again had gone up and over came the Ref for a chat and this time elected to allow the goal to stand.
Rangers now started to ring the changes and To Tall Eastwood, Dave tax dodger Pollard and a very thirsty Brum Willets were all introduced, with Sniff Bray, Pensioner Wortley, Dan I've got belly ache Thomas making way. These introductions gave Rangers a little more heart and desire and they pushed on looking for the equaliser. Then after a series of long throws and corners a header from The Tax Dodger thundered of the bar was nodded back in by Willets and before being finally help in by Jonny Ice Leach. Nice for the young man to hit the target this week and surrender his much coveted pink shirt.
Rangers were now on top and forced several more corners and long throws into the box but for all their efforts they couldn't find a way through. When the final whistle blew it was Rangers 2 Camborne Park 2 a result that really does neither side any good.
Next week Rangers travel to the Lizard and are already praying to the weather gods for a calmer day.

Finally all at Rangers wish Ryan Willets and his better half all the best for the future and thanks for your efforts.

Match Report By Cozy Powell